American psychology pushes us to be positive. We’re supposed to think positively, act with good intentions, and have gratitude for everything in our lives. But something that often gets missed in the psychobabble is the value of complaining. True, few people enjoy hearing others complain, particularly when haranguing for long stretches of time on one subject. But when complaining is shared between a group of like-minded people, it can serve a purpose.

Let’s say that employees in a break room are sitting around discussing fair work practices. Perhaps a female employee has noticed that a few of their superiors have shown preferential treatment to their male underlings. She speaks up, timidly at first. But then another woman chimes in. She’s noticed the same thing; moreover, one of the male superiors in question actually made a pass at her last week. A male employee agrees, revealing that he’s overheard some of the same superiors making sexist jokes. The group in the break room decides to meet after work to discuss the issue further. Suddenly, what started as a complaint has turned into employee action. The employees can form a union (or go to an existing union) and work together to fight for a more inclusive work environment. One small complaint led to positive action.

Or let’s say that instead of the workplace, the complaint takes place at home. A husband complains to his wife that she didn’t remember to buy his favorite cereal. The wife battles back, saying that he wasn’t available to take care of the kids the day before, so she wasn’t able to get to the grocery store. The complaints snowball into a fight, and eventually they realize that they have some underlying problems that need to be resolved. The couple decide to get counseling. One small complaint led to the possible saving of a marriage.

The key here is to make your complaint productive. When you have a problem with something, feel free to discuss it, but after a brief period of stating the problem, move on to finding a solution. Being negative for a short while can lead to positive outcomes, just as being positive all the time (and never dealing with problems) can lead to negative outcomes.