The original title of this post, as I planned it on my editorial calendar, was “How to Stay Sane and Keep Writing During The Holidays.”
I still think that’s a great title. Problem is, I don’t feel qualified to write it right now.
I’ve fallen off my writing horse this past week. I’ve stumbled, and I’m not sure how to correct my course.
It started with a seed of self-doubt. I got a few rejections early last week, one from an agent over a query, and one from a short story publication I’ve been trying to break into for years. I began to wonder if my fiction was any good, and if there was any point continuing down that road. Maybe it was a waste of time. Should I bother to keep querying for Waist, or my short stories, when it’s taking so long to find people who want to publish them? Should I even start my next historical novel, the one I’ve been planning for months?
And there you are. All it took were two little rejections, the likes of which I’ve seen and dealt with before. But coming together, and at a vulnerable time, started a downward spiral until I reached that rock-bottom thought: “Maybe I shouldn’t be writing fiction at all.”
Not completely defeated yet, I sat down to write my annual Christmas story about the Wallaby family, thinking, “This, at least, should be fun. No pressure. I’m not planning to query this, at least not until I have a whole collection, which won’t be for years.” What happened next? My self-doubt decided to team up with some good, old-fashioned writer’s block, and I ended up pounding my keyboard in tears, desperately squeezing out some of the worst writing I’ve ever done.
Suffice to say, it hasn’t been a great week, writing-wise. And so I don’t feel qualified to give any writing advice today. Not about staying sane during the holidays, and not about writing through whatever ails you. I don’t feel like I have the answers right now.
Except…
Well, except that I am writing more in my journal than ever, and it’s helping me work out my worries and anxieties.
And I’m really enjoying blogging, and commenting on other people’s blogs, and meeting some new writers through Twitter. My DIY MFA column seems to be doing well, too, though I don’t see the stats on that.
And I did #PitMad again on Friday, even though the self-doubt was screaming in my head that I shouldn’t bother querying. I got three agent likes. Not as many as last time, but I expected that after the major rule change. The three agents are good ones, too, people I’d like to work with.
And I’m supplying myself with great new reading material, hoping for fresh inspiration.
Oh, and I had an idea to write a funny poem based on “The Night Before Christmas” for my fifth grade band kids after the concert. It’ll be called “The Night Before The Concert,” and have a lot of band humor and inside jokes. I’m going to write that next week.
So maybe- I don’t know, but maybe- that’s how you stay sane and keep writing during the holidays.
You adjust your expectations.
You concentrate on the things that are going well.
You keep your writing habits going.
You retreat, re-group, and come back fighting.
You tell other people that you’ve stumbled, and let them help you pick yourself up.
Maybe that’s how it’s done.
Now I have the Chumbawamba song in my head. Thank you, Leanne. XD
On a more serious / relevant note, I think you’ve got the right idea for working through your doubts. You simply find a way to keep going – and for every writer, the strategy will be different. Also, like you had implied, the time of year places its own restrictions on our writing time, so we have to adapt and adjust on that front as well. (That’s what I’m feeling right now, more than doubts or anything else!)
So, just keep on keeping on, Leanne. If you haven’t pulled out of your slump yet, you will soon. *hugs*
Oh, and I love the idea for your band poem!
Thanks Sara! Sorry I gave you an ear worm- as a music teacher, I get a lot of them, and I know how annoying they are 🙂
I’m already pulling out of the slump, mostly because I’ve gotten so many messages of support since posting this. It reminds me why I do this: to connect with people, and to connect with the deepest parts of myself.
at least you wrote a great blog post! chin up, it’s a tough industry!
Thanks Carol!
I feel for you, Leanne. I’ve got a couple things “out in the world” and I’ve heard exactly…nothing. Crickets chirping. I’d rather have an out and out “no thanks” than silence–at least I say that now! I know you’ll get up again, because you know this is just a part of the business, and you’ll soon feel better. A writer writes, and you’ve just done that in sharing your story.
I totally agree, I would rather get a no than a no response. Even an automated response is enough to tell me that they’re not considering my work. I feel like it’s a professional courtesy, and I do sometimes send a polite “nudge” email asking them if they’ve read the query. Sometimes I get a response after that, though it’s never been a yes. But at least I have confirmation.
I’m back up on the horse now- keep writing, keep writing. Query and write. Query and write. That’s how you stay in the game.