Whenever life throws me curveballs, I picture myself slipping down a few rungs on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Usually, I’m able to balance up near the top, my family’s basic needs maintained by habit and routine, freeing my mind to focus on higher-level concerns. I can write. I can read. I can make time for exercise, relaxation and playfulness.
But then life’s rollercoaster takes a downturn, and I’m pulled back down into survival mode: just getting through the days, unable to rise above the basic level of eat-sleep-work and caring for others. The last two months have felt like that to me, starting with my daughter’s kidney surgery at the beginning of February, continuing with her recovery and follow-up appointments, moving into challenges at work and writing life setbacks, and concluding with a mess of illnesses hitting our family all at once: colds, an ear infection, a sinus infection, strep throat, food poisoning. And here we are, at the end of spring break, and I’m just beginning to think again about more than the basic needs of the family.
In the midst of all this, I made a decision to step back from working on my novel, always my biggest writing project. Frankly, I needed my morning writing time for extra sleep, and my daytime writing breaks at school to recharge. In March, I produced less writing work than any other month in the past eight years: I maintained my daily journal, wrote two blog posts (here, and at DIY MFA), sent out my monthly newsletter, The Perspective Post, and conducted an interview. I made a few false starts on some personal essays, and spent some time researching my current novel. That was all.
But I didn’t stop thinking about writing. I can’t stop thinking about writing. And I knew that when things got better, when my health and my children’s health improved and I could focus on something beyond the basics again, I would return to my writing habits and projects.
I feel ready now. But my writing spigot seems to have stalled. I keep thinking of new ideas but get cold feet when it comes to implementing them. Something inside me is hesitating, tentative, afraid to let go.
I don’t want to live with that fear. So I’m going to jump-start my writing life right here, right now, with something that feels do-able to me. I’m going to aim to write a blog post every weekday for the next two weeks. I want to get my creative juices flowing, and blogging is a great way to prime the pump. I want to let go of my fears in a place where I feel safe: with you, my readers.
I’ll be writing about my hopes and fears for my novel, and where I am in the project. (Not a great place; hoping to reach a better place soon.) I’ll be writing about what’s working in my life right now, and what’s not. I’ll be writing about all the things I’ve been thinking about: longevity, money, happiness, time for play, getting in better shape, being kind to myself while also challenging myself.
I’m pulling myself up a rung on the ladder, starting now.
Anyone want to climb with me?
I’m excited about this. I hope it does what you need it to and I’ll be here reading to support you.
Thanks so much, Laura! Your support makes me feel encouraged, which is something I’ve needed lately.
Yes! I hope you and your family are feeling much better now, Leanne. That must have been rough.
On a smaller scale, I understand what you mean. We adopted a puppy at the end of January (my husband’s idea, primarily), and since then it’s seemed like all puppy, all the time. Since I work at home, the bulk of the care and training falls to me, as well as the distraction of having an energetic and boisterous new addition to the family. My cat is so quiet and peaceful by contrast! I’ve struggled with maintaining any kind of writing schedule since the puppy gets up at 6 with my husband (and now, me, too) so even my morning quiet time has changed. It’s been a real exercise in flexibility (not my strong suit) and taking care of my needs before I get too tired. I have felt like I’ve been filling every moment with work of some kind, and I’ve been tied to the house more than I like. It’s just now starting to seem like things are getting more workable, as she’s able to play by herself in our yard some, while I bring my laptop onto our lanai. So I’m climbing up that ladder with you!
Schedule changes create such a shake-up, don’t they, Kathy? Something new comes, and you’re forced to re-think all your priorities. That’s how it’s felt to me recently, anyway.