I have a dream, a goal, an ambition. It’s the most important thing in the world to me, after my family.

I want to have a book published.

(I was about to write, “I want to be a published author”- I almost forgot that I already am! And I’m very proud of publishing a short story, but it’s only a stop on the way to publishing a book, which has always been the ultimate goal.)

If you have a dream, a goal, an ambition that’s truly important to you, you’ll do anything you can to make it happen. Including things you once thought were boring, tedious, annoying, embarrassing, or even… scary.

I’ve done the boring things (sitting on a train to Manhattan for more time than the class I was taking, just to go to a big-name writing school). I’ve done the tedious things (picking through research; taking mountains of notecards and organizing them all). I’ve done the annoying things (parting with hard-earned money for website hosting, class fees and professional writing society memberships). I’ve even done embarrassing things (reaching out to authors and agents who’ve never heard of me; getting rejected by many of them).

After doing all of those things, I’ve made a little headway, but I still haven’t reached my ultimate goal. And so it’s time to do something a little bit scary- at least, it’s a little bit scary to me.

Next weekend, I’ll be going to a writer’s conference in the city. I don’t know anyone else at this conference (though I’ve thoroughly researched the agents who are attending). I’ll need to network, to introduce myself to intimidating strangers, to put on an extrovert’s skin. During one part of the conference, I’ll be pitching my book to multiple agents in a process that resembles speed-dating (which, thanks to marrying my college sweetheart, I have never done).

This process wouldn’t be scary to some people- my brother-in-law, for example, loves going to business and educational conferences and always ends up meeting someone interesting or even famous. I respect and admire that. My bar is going to have to be a bit lower, though- I’ll be happy just to get out my name and a brief synopsis of my book without shaking to pieces.

I’m as prepared as I can be- I re-read my latest draft, researched all the agents I want to pitch to, wrote and practiced my pitch, ordered new business cards, bought some summer-professional clothes (which I’ve never before needed). I even have my train tickets ready to go. And yet I’m still a little scared, and I’m sure that feeling will only increase as the week goes on, right up until the moment I’m shaking that first agent’s hand.

 

But I’m going to do it, and I’m going to do the best job I damn well can.

Because no matter how scary, annoying, embarrassing, tedious, or boring something is, if it helps you on your way to achieving your dream, it’s worth it.