This time of year, everyone’s questions are focused on the WHAT. “What are you doing for the holidays?” “What’s your New Year’s resolution?” “What presents do your kids want?” I can answer those questions with no problem. What’s frustrating me isn’t the WHAT, it’s the WHEN.
When do I fit in the present-shopping, the wrapping, the holiday planning?
When do I add the New Year’s habit to my schedule?
When do I plan self-care?
When do I work on the writing project that’s burning a hole in my brain?
The month slipped from November to December, and all of a sudden I felt as though I was doing a daily battle with WHEN. The to-do list grew exponentially because of the holidays. There were upwards of sixty presents to buy, and then to wrap. There were cookies to bake. There were cards to order and address and send. There were holiday outings to schedule for my children. There were concerts to conduct and to attend. And I’m scrambling in a panic, trying to get it all done, paralyzed by WHEN.
I haven’t made time for self-care.
I’ve barely even gone to the gym.
That writing project is burning a hole in my brain.
And the to-do list feels like it keeps getting longer, the closer to Christmas I get.
The other day, I spent the entire day with a song stuck in my head from the classic “Christmas Eve on Sesame Street,” a movie my kids love. In the movie, Oscar the Grouch sings a song called “I Hate Christmas,” because– well, he’s a grouch. And that day, I found that song rotating in my head, and I wondered: Do I hate Christmas now? I used to love it so much. It was my favorite time of year. I loved everything about it: the lights, the merry greetings, the songs, the movies, the food and family, the excitement of gifts. But in the last couple of years, Christmas has felt like an overwhelming to-do list.
How do I recapture the Christmas spirit?
And WHEN do I do that?
It’s a hilarious irony. If I want to actually enjoy Christmas, I need to slow down and give myself time to savor it. But the reason I’m not enjoying it is because I don’t have time to slow down. There’s not enough WHEN in between all the Christmas chores and my regular life, as a full-time music teacher and full-time mama and always-wanna-be-writer.
It’ll all come to a full stop after Christmas, and I’ll have a week of real break time. I’m going to treasure that time. But it won’t help me get into the spirit of the season.
Is anyone else struggling with WHEN all this gets done? And maybe thinking HOW it could all be simpler?
I have felt the stress of the holidays as well (and my life is not nearly as hectic as yours)! One thing my family did to help lessen the stress of the holidays was to do a Secret Santa gift exchange this year. In the past we would have purchased gifts for every member of our family. As my siblings get married and have children, the number of gifts to be purchased has grown and grown. The Secret Santa has helped us to reduce the number of gifts we need to purchase. It has allowed us to save some money, reduce the amount of necessary shopping, and focus more on enjoying the shopping we do for our selected recipient. I still buy for my nieces and nephews and the children of my close friends, but I buy less for my family and adult friends. I think each family can come up with their own “rules“ for what they want to give, but I think this is an area that can lessen the burden this time of year.
I agree, Justin. We did start doing Secret Santa for the adults a few years ago, and my friends and I have mostly stopped exchanging. I still have a lot of kid-presents to buy and wrap, but it’s not so much the gifts that have me spinning. It’s also the pressure of having a decorated home, sending cards, baking, and attending all the holiday activities. I’m grateful for all these things, but it’s tough that so much extra is expected this time of year.
I sympathize, Leanne. You always have a full plate, but the holidays surely must make it overflow. I don’t have any answers for you, but I can tell you that it does get easier as the kids grow up–but the trade off is that a whole lot of the magic of Christmas is lost. We have to keep rethinking and remaking Christmas traditions.
Wishing you TIME to do all the things you love the best about the holidays!
Yes, the trade-off– I’m always aware when I complain about how much is happening right now that I’ll be missing this time later, when my kids are young. I’m trying to balance that perspective of joy in their childhoods with the needs of the here and now!
I wish I had a solution for you, Leanne. But I can only say I relate, in my own way. The first half of December was incredibly busy between holiday preparations, parties / get-togethers, the full-time job, work on the Big Secret Project (I think you know what I mean by this now), poetry, and other things… So I guess it’s no surprise that I came down with a nasty cold last week. And when I did, I caused myself more stress than necessary by worrying about my WHEN. How would I make time for everything now that I was sick?
But when you’re not feeling 100%, you can’t force yourself to operate at that level physically, mentally, and so on when you don’t have the energy. The only thing I could do was hit the “Pause” button and focus on taking care of myself. Everything else – the baking, the cards, anything writing related – was going to have to wait and/or be scaled down. It’s a difficult change to accept when you’re used to celebrating the holidays a certain way and staying on top of things. But because of my circumstances and the timing of things, the only HOW I found for my WHEN was to acknowledge, let go, and slow down a little bit.
Your last sentence is so wise, Sara, and it’s something that I find myself having to learn again and again. As an idealist, I keep butting my head up against the realities of time constraints and my own physical energy. I think I’ll always be that way, but hopefully learn to slow down a little sooner before I crash!
Leanne, I was feeling the same stress and the “When will this all get done” until we learned that my husband had to have surgery at Sloane on 12/19 after surviving cancer. I had to choose. Either drive myself and my kids crazy doing all the traditional holiday chores or let some things go. I decided to let things go. I explained to the kids we will strart some new traditions and the holiday season will still be great. So, I’m cutting down on who gets holiday cards, using gift bags instead of wrapping only giving to my children and nieces and nephews. and buying holiday treats instead of making them. It lifted a weight off my back. I wish the same for you. Now I’m struggling with “why” does it even get to this point?
Oh Lucille, I’m so sorry you are having to deal with something so huge, and at this time of year no less. I’m reading this on 12/20, so I pray the surgery went well yesterday. Things like this really do force perspective. Sending wishes for the best possible holiday for your family.