While many people are trying to curb their addictions to social media, I often find I have to force myself to engage on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I know it’s a good way to keep up with old friends and make new connections, but there’s something about social media that makes me uncomfortable. It’s obviously not the sharing of personal information– I do that here! I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m so out of step with the world in this area, and I can’t come up with an answer.

One thing that bothers me is the lack of complexity. It’s very difficult to read nuance into people’s words when posts are meant to be short and snappy. Few people are good at being truly thoughtful in 140 characters, and more and more posts on Facebook are shared articles or memes that don’t tell me much about what the poster really thinks or believes. Is the person sharing with seriousness? Humor? Irony?

Posts are also completely out of context. They’re lines or snapshots of a person’s daily story, not the story itself. And the platforms have most of the control when it comes to who actually sees each person’s post.

I guess that’s the difference between posting on my website and posting on Facebook or Twitter– I can tell a more nuanced story, make a point that’s complex, and not worry that it’ll be misconstrued. A website has the intimacy of someone’s living room. Social media is more like a party where people have to shout to be heard.

Is my reluctance an introvert/extrovert thing? As an introvert, I naturally prefer smaller gatherings and deeper relationships. Using that framework, it makes sense that the big-and-shallow pond of social media wouldn’t appeal to me. But other introverts have said that they love the opportunity to communicate with friends from the comfort of their couches; to be alone and be social at the same time. This makes sense to me too. Yet social media still doesn’t appeal.

I’m going to keep trying to figure this out, because social media isn’t going away. What I’d like most of all is to think of it as a tool, either to make me happier in my personal life or to further my professional ambitions. But even after all these years (I joined Facebook in 2006) I still haven’t figured out how to use the tool effectively.

Do you have a strategy for your social-media use? If so, I’d love to hear it. I could use some guidance and education from my readers.