When it comes to health habits, are you an abstainer or a moderator?

An abstainer is someone who finds it simpler, in the long-term, to not consume something. Abstainers often find that if they try to eat a treat in moderation, they end up spending a lot of time thinking things like, “Do I really want this?” or “I had it yesterday, is it ok to have it today too?” Rather than go through this compulsive consideration on a regular basis, they simply cut the food out completely.

Moderators, on the other hand, are able to consume something on a semi-regular basis without obsessing over it. They find that the occasional treat helps them to stay on track overall. Moderators often subscribe to “80/20”-type rules, where you can treat yourself 20% of the time, if you maintain healthy habits 80% of the time.

If these definitions still left you unsure of what type you are, check out this article by Gretchen Rubin that contains a very brief questionnaire.

For awhile, I had a hard time figuring out what camp I belonged to. I inherited parts of each from my parents, a champion abstainer (my mother) married to a classic moderator (my dad). My mom is the most disciplined abstainer I know; she can cut out entire food groups without complaint (though I’m sure she misses them sometimes). She finds it easier to do this than to moderate. My dad is an equal-opportunity food lover: he loves desserts, but he also eats a lot of health food. He can execute the 80/20 rule without worrying about whether he’s eating too much of one or the other. While I admire both of their approaches, having two diametrically opposed systems as role models made me very confused about my own health habit personality.

It’s taken me years of trial-and-error, years of “diets” (that were really crash courses in habit-changing, doomed to fail) and then trying to live without diets, but I think I’ve finally figured out that I’m a little of both: I am a moderator, who can also abstain in some cases and for short periods of time.

As an abstainer, my habits are:

• I don’t eat red meat. I’ve gone back to this recently, after a period of time during and after my pregnancy when I needed the extra protein. I haven’t missed it at all.
• I can give up sugary foods for a few weeks at a time before a vacation or a special event. I have no problem doing this, but I know I’d never be able to make it permanent; I need to know there’s an end point.
• I exercise. (Kind of the inverse of abstaining; I never DON’T exercise.) Exercise is an extremely strong habit for me- I really don’t think it would be possible to stop even if I wanted to.
• I never weigh myself. This is a recent change, but I think I’ll be able to stick with it long-term. I realized that I was happier with my body when I didn’t assign it a number. I also know that I can’t control my weight as much as I’d like to, due to medication fluctuations and so on. If I can’t control it, and the process makes me unhappy, and I’m pretty happy with myself otherwise, why bother to look at the scale? I can judge my size and health by how my clothes fit.

As a moderator, my habits are:

• I stick to small amounts of dark chocolate, fat free frozen yogurt, or fruit for dessert… most days of the week.
• At least once a week, I have a delicious, fattening dessert, and I enjoy every bite.
• I eat similar meals and snacks every day, emphasizing vegetables, lean protein and whole grains. These meals are habits I cultivate, so when I eat out or get takeout on occasion, I get what I like and enjoy the break in routine.
• I make sure sugary foods are not easily accessible. For the most part, we keep them out of the house, but if we do have them, they’re either in the downstairs freezer or storage closet, not in the kitchen. I find that small amount of distance is enough to keep me from eating them 95% of the time. If I think it’s worth it to go downstairs to get them, then I should just enjoy the treat.

Are you an abstainer, a moderator, or a little of both? Or do you have another way to define your health habit personality?