(If you missed part 1 of my year-end reflection questions, it’s here.)

What was the most important lesson you learned in 2019?

My word for the year was FOCUS, and I learned a lot of strategies to help me prioritize, organize and manage my time. One of my favorite strategies was the brain dump. When I felt especially overwhelmed by all the writing, teaching and parenting projects in my head, I’d open my phone’s voice recorder and talk it all out until I’d unloaded all my thoughts, worries and things to do. Then I’d sit down with a notebook and organize it all. I always feel much more settled after this process.

Which mental blocks did you overcome?

I successfully drafted my novel three times and wrote several short pieces this year by learning to recognize when my writing had stalled. If I was feeling stuck, unmotivated or bored by the project, I knew I had to back up a step in order to re-set and continue.

What was your biggest break-through moment career-wise?

In teaching, it was my observation last February, which led me to change the way I think about a band rehearsal. I no longer just run through the music looking for mistakes; every rehearsal is an opportunity to enforce a specific concept, such as articulation or tone. I designed new warm-ups to tie in with a daily focus. Band rehearsals have gotten more fun and exciting for both me and the kids since this shift.

In writing, it was when my editor/writing coach Lisa Romeo started giving me essays to read that targeted a specific problem I was having in my own work. Inspired by these essays, I was able to improve my own work much faster.

How did your relationship to your family evolve?

My youngest turned three this year, and that shifted things. She’s still almost a constant companion when I’m home, but now she can be patient if I can’t be with her right this minute, and understands if I have to do chores like folding laundry (she often helps!). She’s also more capable of playing alone. It’s a joy to see her independence and excitement over learning new skills. As my son gets older, my responsibility to him is less about direct care-taking and more about speaking his love language (quality time and deep discussions). I’m loving that shift.

What book or movie affected your life in a profound way?

I read a LOT of great nonfiction this year. The top three that affected me were The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp, I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) by Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers, and Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski.

What was the best compliment that you received this year?

When I told Lisa, my editor, that I’d always thought about getting an MFA, and she immediately responded, “You don’t need one.” I’m still not sure if she meant that I had educated myself to the point of not needing to attend an official program, or if MFAs are bad ideas in general (though she has one herself) or a combination. But that comment helped me finally put that idea to rest.

What little things did you most enjoy during your daily life?

I got a lot of joy out of interacting with my kids every day. They’re both at great ages– they want to share and show me things, and they’re growing into their funny/silly/expressive sides. One of the best things I did for myself this year was stay mindfully present when I was with my children (as best and as often as I could) so that I could absorb the full feeling of the joy they shared with me.

What cool things did you create this year?

My novel, several essays I’m proud of, an elementary band curriculum with my friend and colleague Renee, and a newly beautified space in our basement!

What did you think about more than anything else?

When I was feeling relaxed and creative, my writing. When I was feeling stressed and worried, I thought about the changes in my teaching duties/responsibilities that are beyond my control.

What topics did you most enjoy learning about?

I listened to a lot of serialized journalism podcasts this year. I loved learning about MLMs through The Dream, the Larry Nassar case through Believed (a very tough listen, but everyone should know the details of this story), and the stories behind Watergate through Rachel Maddow’s Bag Man. I’m always drawn to psychology, so I also enjoyed reading Range, David Epstein’s answer to the push for specialization.

What new habits did you cultivate?

I strengthened my planning-and-reflection loop this year. On a yearly level, I created a document that guides me toward creating goals that suit my overall purpose, then breaking them down into habits, routines and things to do. I use this document five times a year to plan each quintile (winter, spring, summer, fall and holidays). On a daily level, I used a bigger planner this year, my beloved Agendio, which created space to document my daily health and writing/creativity goals, as well as track my time, set a focus for each day, and collect happy memories. Each week I would also list ten accomplishments and ten gratitudes. These planning/reflection habits made me happier and kept me focused on my deepest priorities.

What advice would you give your early-2019 self if you could?

Keep meditating. Give yourself mental space. Don’t be skeptical about the power of these habits!

Enough for now! I’ll be back soon with more reflection questions and winter manifesto updates.

What are you reflecting on as the year closes?