Yesterday when I was scrolling through Facebook (always a mistake) I saw a post in a local group from a woman who was worried by her son’s behavior. He was getting all of his homeschool work done, but every other hour of the day, he was playing video games. She said, “I can’t get him off his device.” Her tone was desperate. She felt helpless in the face of her son’s digital habits.

The post made me sad. I was sad for the woman who felt such helplessness. I was sad for the son who wasn’t exploring the world beyond his screen. And I felt sad that I couldn’t say either of those things without seeming judgmental, because it’s so hard to convey empathy on Facebook. So, even though I did have some advice to give, I scrolled away. But I kept thinking about the woman and her son.

I never went back and looked at the comments on the post, but I imagine some people laughed it off, saying that increased screen time was normal and even necessary during the COVID-19 time, and some people went the other way, telling the mother she should be more strict about screen time. Both extremes have an element of truth. Yes, kids need screens more often these days, partly for school itself, but also partly so that parents can work. However, limits are also important, because video games have been proven to be addictive, and kids don’t yet have the brain development to self-regulate. All parents have to find a balance, and it depends so much on the individual parent, the kid, and the situation. A comment on social media isn’t going to capture any of that.

But if I was to give any general advice, it would be this: trust your kid. Trust in his innate sense of curiosity and creativity. Make him turn off the device a little more each day, and let him be bored. Eventually, that boredom will lead him to try something new. That new thing might lead to a project. That project might lead to a hobby. All of those things will ultimately make him happier than losing himself in a game.

I think many parents are afraid to let their children be bored because they fear the complaints, the annoying behavior, the whining and begging. There probably will be some of that at first. But if you stay strong and stick to your guns, the kid will eventually figure out how to entertain himself. Kids have been doing this since the dawn of time. They are naturally curious. They will find a way.