You may have noticed that I’ve been blogging a bit less over the past couple of months. I’ve been having trouble writing new material in general, but blogging has felt especially difficult because of its immediate audience. The best weeks of my recent writing life were when I was revising Waist for my agent; that invigorated and motivated me. But when it was over, the struggles with all of my fresher, newer projects returned.
There’s a reason for this, and the root is something I’m very happy and grateful for: I’m expecting our second child in October. My family and I are all thrilled with this news, and overall I feel very blessed: with the pregnancy coming around the same time I signed with my agent Suzie, it feels like everything is coming together in both my work and personal lives.
But I’ve been physically not feeling my best for several weeks, and it’s been hard to maintain my normal schedule. There was also the added stress of keeping the pregnancy a secret from most people throughout the first trimester. I think that added to my writer’s block, especially when it came to blogging. I couldn’t share my whole self, the thing that was most important to me at the moment, and so it was hard to share other parts of myself. (I did manage to write indirectly about how I was feeling in my latest DIY MFA post, How To Keep Writing When Times Are Tough.)
Now that the word is out, and I feel marginally better (though not as energetic and hungry as I was during my last pregnancy’s second trimester), I feel ready to share more of myself through the blog and my other projects. I spent last weekend at a writer’s retreat in Sea Girt, NJ (here’s the post from when I attended last year) and the writing prompts and quick production schedule helped to jumpstart my inspiration again. I feel as though I’ve been literally retreating into my writer’s shell, and now I’m ready to emerge again.
I’m ready to breathe some fresh life into this blog, and into my novel and nonfiction projects. I’m even planning some side projects: I was asked to submit to Writers Read, a wonderful NYC-based program where writers perform their work aloud to an audience. I wasn’t sure what to write on the next topic, The Great Outdoors, but last night I woke up at 3AM and had an idea that I immediately sketched out. I know that’s not an odd occurrence for many writers, but it is for me. (Interrupted pregnancy sleep is good for something after all.) I encourage other writers to check out Writers Read and consider submitting for the next deadline, May 15th.
Has anyone else ever experienced this type of writer’s block? In what ways does your personal life intertwine with your writing life?
First of all, congratulations on Baby #2!! 😀 I’m so happy for you and your family. And funny how synchronicity works by bringing multiple joys into your life at once, right?
I think I understand how not sharing the joy of a new pregnancy also dampened your writing spirit. I can’t say I’ve experience the same with my writing… but in the past, I’ve found that when I’m around people who aren’t as supportive of my writing, it made it difficult to talk to them. It’s not because I only wanted to talk about the WIP – but feeling like I couldn’t share what was giving me so much joy made me less willing to share anything else with them, too. It’s almost as if we can’t be our true selves without feeling free enough to share our happiness with the world.
I might have gone a little bit deeper there than necessary… But it’s along the same lines, right?
Good luck with Writers Read, btw!
Thanks, Sara! Yes, I think the “sharing with non-writers” block is similar in that you can’t be your authentic self. That’s why I go to writing conferences and retreats, and am so happy to be there, because I know I’m with my own kind.
What happy news! Congratulations. An excellent reason to draw back from the usual pursuits.
My personal life greatly impacts my writing, or lack thereof. I seem to have trouble focusing on writing when something out of the ordinary happens–like right now, we’re having to have our master bath shower rebuilt because of a leak behind the tile. This project has turned into an entire bath redo (the house is 19 years old so could use an update) which has taken a lot of my time and mental energy to organize (and we’re still at the beginning of the process!). I’m hoping that when I’m stuck at home supervising the work I’ll use that time to work on my writing business! A girl can dream.
Thanks, Kathy! Yes, it’s a good excuse… but it doesn’t make me happy. I wish I could rediscover the Leanne of a few months ago who had more energy and motivation to pursue multiple projects, but I can’t ignore that my body just isn’t up for it right now. It’s kind of like having a chronic illness that lasts for 9 months! It’s hard for me to accept, but there’s definitely a ceiling that wasn’t there before.