I had the oddest feeling when I woke up on Sunday morning. It was the last Sunday of summer and the last day of our family vacation in Maine. I thought to myself, “I had a perfect summer. Everything went well.” But my realization left me feeling bewildered, because it hadn’t felt at all like the perfect summer until that moment of closure.

According to Laura Vanderkam’s book Off the Clock, we experience time in three ways:

1. In anticipation
2. In the moment
3. In memory

Ever since I read the book, I’ve made it a point to use the three methods to wring as much joy as possible out of my vacations. Before going, I mark it on the calendar and anticipate it with excitement. I talk to my family about it– “In three weeks, we’ll be on vacation!” When I’m in the moment, I try to stay mindful and use all my senses to absorb the feeling of being there. And afterward, I print pictures, reminisce with the kids, and occasionally close my eyes and sink back into that vacation-feeling.

This year, though, any anticipation was tinged with cynicism and even a little dread. All summer, I waited for one of us to get quarantined. I waited for one of us to get the delta variant. Before our last trip, I waited for Hurricane Henri to spoil our plans. I waited for each vacation to get cancelled and didn’t allow myself even a moment of excitement until we were literally on the plane or in the car. It felt like the disappointment would be too great otherwise.

But I woke up on our last day of vacation for the summer and realized that I’d gotten to do literally every single thing I’d planned. In early July, we went to San Diego to meet my amazing nephew and had a wonderful time with my sister and brother-in-law. Our annual trip to Schroon Lake was a bit rainy and wet, but otherwise went well. My best friend came to stay with us for three happy days. The Hippocamp conference went on as scheduled, and even though we all wore masks and socialized less, I learned a lot, met wonderful people, and presented for the first time at a writing conference. Hurricane Henri barely impacted our trip to Maine– in fact, vacation was extended when the kids and I stayed at my parents’ house the night before to keep safe. My kids had fun at karate camp and dance class and daycare, and no one around them got sick.

We were so lucky. And I’m so damned grateful, because we all needed a summer of good luck. Fall will probably be harder. We face a much greater possibility of contracting delta and/or quarantining due to school, daycare and dance classes. We still don’t know when the kids can be vaccinated. But we did have a marvelous summer, and that provides me with comfort, satisfaction, and gratitude.

I may not have wrung joy out of anticipating any of my trips this summer, but I enjoyed them all in the moment, and I’m going to wring every drop out of the memories.