A writing friend of mine asked me why productivity and creativity seem so hard right now. I, too, have noticed that many of my most creative friends are feeling blocked. Unsurprisingly, my answer to my friend had to do with the grief process, which I’ve been writing about a lot lately.

Since mid-March I’ve been cycling through grief almost constantly. That sounds sad, but it’s actually helped me quite a bit to recognize that what I’m feeling is grief and not something else, like anxiety. Knowing the cycle is finite also prepares me for fresh waves. Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression-Acceptance. With each new revelation of death or illness, or each freedom restricted, I’ve had to go through the cycle all over again.

COVID life and all the recent tragedies has resulted in a series of losses of all shapes and sizes. We mourn the loss of lives, the loss of freedoms, the loss of long-anticipated events, the loss of the lifestyle we created for ourselves. We mourn our racial divide and inability to change the system fast enough. We mourn the hugs we can’t give our mothers. We mourn the playdates our children can’t have. We might even mourn creative projects that now seem meaningless or outdated.

The good news is this: if you can identify the cycle and be mindful of your place in it, you might not resist it so much. Lack of resistance helps it go faster. I’ve been spending less time in the Denial and Depression stages, which is where I used to get stuck. Acknowledging my own grief has helped me remember that it is what it is. I don’t control my emotions, but if I let them pass through me, they won’t control me either.

As a result of accepting the grief cycle, I’ve had some pockets of productivity and creativity during this time. And I can give myself more empathy when I need a break from being productive.

Mental health must be managed in order to have productivity and creativity, and that means acknowledging our feelings and staying in the present, even if we don’t like how we feel right now.