Whom Do You Envy?

“He who envies others does not achieve peace.” -Buddha

With all due respect to the Buddha, I have to disagree.

True, envy is one of the seven deadly sins. Yes, it is poisonous to hold jealousy inside of you, to let your feelings about another person fester. But envy, like judgement, can also be a useful tool. (Example? This post about judging other parents.) It can show you what you’re missing in your life, or what you desire to change.

So, whom do you envy?

And why?

The people I most envy have the following characteristics:

1. They are writers. (Obviously.)

2. They have a large following of people like me: educated, growth-minded professionals who are striving to balance work and home, and place a high priority on happiness and success.

3. They keep their children a high priority, even while building their careers.

4. They seem poised in public and productive in private.

5. Their work includes creative thinking and looking at life from different perspectives.

6. They are published in several arenas.

I’d been following the work of these people- let’s call them role models- for a long time, but it wasn’t until I understood how much I envied them that I shifted perspective. I realized that I didn’t just admire them. I wanted to BE them. And from there, I started to figure out the whys, hows and whens of turning that jealousy of others into my own reality.

My list applies to people in the public sector, but it’s just as possible to construct a list based on people you know personally. Are you jealous of your neighbor whose child has the best homemade Halloween costumes? Maybe that indicates your craving for creativity or time for crafting. Do you envy someone at work who has a great social life and always knows the hottest places to eat? Set yourself a challenge to go to a new restaurant every week, and watch how your jealous conversations turn into an excited exchange of menus.

So, whom do you envy?

Why do you envy them?

And, most important, how can you turn your jealousy into meaningful change?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section- I’d LOVE to hear if anyone else gets as much out of this exercise as I do!