I’ve been trying to get some perspective on the quarantine. I keep zooming in and out, thinking big picture (This too shall pass/I’ll wish I’d valued this time with my family) and small picture (I want to get out of the house/I wish I could hug my mom). It’s hard to find the right balance. Thinking about the future is scary and uncertain. Thinking about the past results in mourning. The only thing we can do is stick ourselves firmly in the present and do our best to stay there for the duration.

To that end, today I’ll be sharing 5 things I miss, 5 things I don’t miss, and 5 things I’m grateful for right now.

5 Things I Miss

1. Band rehearsals. Most of what I can teach, distance-learning style, is from the lesson book. Most of what we can do in a Google Meet has to be unison playing because of the audio delay. I miss the blend of multiple instruments, the percussion against the winds, the overlapping rhythms and the harmonizing, and 50 kids looking up at me, ready to make music.
2. My colleagues. Online meetings aren’t the same as running into someone in the hall or the copy room and having a nice side conversation that’s not related to work. There’s no room for that in a Google Meet!
3. My clothes. After 5 years of Stitch Fix and careful closet curation, I have a beautiful work wardrobe. I miss my dresses and stockings and shiny shoes. They’re all much too impractical to wear around the house, especially with my three-year-old’s lovingly sticky fingers.
4. Going to the library and the gym. I can still get library loans on my Kindle, but I miss ordering and picking up books for me and the kids. I even miss the new-release book fliers that were always at the library counter. And though I’ve still been exercising a lot at home, I had just gotten into a new strength-training program, involving very high-tech machinery at my gym, when everything closed. I miss those machines!
5. Grandparent visits. I can’t even describe how much we all miss them. Before the quarantine, we saw both sets of grandparents multiple times per week. Now we can only see them on socially-distant walks and on lawn chairs across the driveway on nice days. It’s hard. I don’t really miss the babysitting or the fact that they used to bring us wine and takeout. I just miss having all of them in our house.

5 Things I DON’T Miss

1. Rushing. I love that I can let my kids sleep. I love that we can eat every meal together. I love that I don’t have the pressure of the oven clock staring me down while I make three breakfasts and pack two lunches and do the dishes without running late. My husband and I are hugging more, the kids and I are laughing and teasing more. Time is a gift.
2. Getting sick. It’s very weird, considering the circumstances, that my family has been healthier than ever. No colds, no sore throats, no upset stomachs. No germs! We’re keeping it clean and we’re keeping ourselves safe from COVID-19, but that means the other, more common illnesses are being shut out too.
3. Driving. I gained an hour a day not driving to work! That’s five hours a week!
4. Going to my kids’ activities. My daughter’s dance studio and my son’s karate studio both got Zoom classes running very quickly and successfully. While it doesn’t quite replace the real thing, there are compensations: my son has been going to three classes a week, which we’d never had time for normally. He’s getting so good! And my in-laws can watch via Zoom while my daughter takes her dance class, which is nice.
5. Shopping. I’ve been feeling for a long time like we should buy less and conserve more. We’re all in that mindset now, and it feels good to me.

5 Things I’m Grateful For

1. Mossa Move videos, made freely available through my closed gym. It’s the program my gym uses for the kickboxing and step aerobics classes I’ve been taking for years. I LOVE these videos! I’ve been doing 3-4 classes a week.
2. TV that’s live from quarantine, like John Oliver and Stephen Colbert’s shows, SNL, and the Disney Sing-Along last week. It really makes me feel like we’re all in this together, and that there are creative ways to do any job– even if your job is making people laugh during a sad time.
3. My husband’s cooking. It’s gotten even better since the quarantine. I’m very very lucky!
4. Virtual babysitting. It’s been more effective than I’d have imagined. We have daily Zoom and Facetime appointments with my parents-in-law to read with Eleanor while I help Edwin with his school work; with my parents to do a music class with both kids while I work; and with my best friend/Edwin’s godmother to read with Edwin in the afternoon. It allows me to get extra work done, and I’m grateful for that and the daily connection my kids have with their loved ones.
5. Living in New York State. I haven’t always been in a fan of Governor Cuomo, but as I watch the various governors across the country struggle with this crisis, I’m grateful for his levelheaded reliance on science and data to keep us all safe. New Yorkers hate this, but we’re not fighting it: we’re doing what has to be done.

What are your 5/5/5?