Breastfeeding, Day 1: Wait, why is this so hard? Don’t all mammals do this naturally? Isn’t my baby supposed to have the instinct to nurse? Why did I take all of those “breastfeeding essentials” classes? This is impossible!
Day 4: Phew! I’m glad I stuck it out. I think we’re getting the hang of this. But- wait, my milk is coming in. Ouch! I mean…. it’s ticklish… I mean… this is the weirdest feeling ever.
Day 7: Oh my God. I’m so exhausted. This baby is draining me of my life-force. I feel like I’m nursing eight hours out of the day. Let me do the math… oh, I was wrong. It’s ten hours.
Week 3: He’s crying all the time and the doctor says he’s got reflux. I’m writing down everything I eat to figure out what’s bothering his stomach.
Week 5: Still crying all the time, still no answers. I’m supposed to cut all possible allergens out of my diet. I’m allowed to eat chicken and rice, and… that’s pretty much it.
Week 5, day 3: Hmm. Rice pasta isn’t so bad, tossed with olive oil and grilled chicken. I can do this.
Week 5, day 5: I hate rice pasta. I need some damn carbs. And the baby is still crying all the time.
Week 7: Everyone wants me to quit breastfeeding. They think we should just give the baby an allergy-free formula. Don’t they know how expensive that is? But… I want to eat. I’m so sick of being deprived of food AND sleep, and being attached to a baby’s mouth almost every hour. And the crying. I hate the crying. But I really want to breastfeed… I feel so close to my baby. I’m going to keep trying.
Month 2: We figured out the baby’s sensitivity! Eggs and fish. I can live without eggs and fish until his stomach matures. The insane crying is stopping, and he seems able to go longer without nursing. I can eat yogurt and chocolate and nuts again! YAY!
Month 3: He won’t take a bottle, and his appetite is insatiable.. I’ve been tethered to this kid for three months with no end in sight. I feel trapped.
Month 6: I could do this forever. So glad I got past those first few months. I feel connected with my baby, and our bond is so strong. I love the excuse to sit down with him and snuggle, or read a book while he nurses. We have a routine now, and it’s going great.
Month 12: I made it a whole year! Most of my friends stopped nursing at this point. I’m only nursing four times a day now. I’m going to cut back, but… I’m not ready to stop.
Month 16: My endocrinologist just raised her eyebrows when I told her I was still nursing. Why is it something to be proud of for a year, but it gets weird after that? I’m not going to tell anyone I’m still nursing. It’ll probably just be for a few more months, anyway, and it’s only in the morning and nighttime.
Month 21: We both still love nursing, and I’m not going to hide it. I’m giving my son nourishment and bonding time, and protecting us both from disease. I’m proud to be a breastfeeding mom.
Breastfeeding moms, what was your nursing story?
This is the fourth post in June’s focus on parenting. Look back at previous posts from this series here, or click on the “Parenting” category on the sidebar for plenty more:
Oh my goodness, this is all so true! Love it.