I have been many different kinds of writers. I have been a joyous writer. A pensive writer. A prolific one, a stagnating one. I have written inspired things, and I’ve written idiotic things. I have been a successful writer and a rejected writer. I have been a humbled writer, a proud writer.

Today, I am a struggling writer.

I have been reluctant to re-start this blog with its new theme, WORDS, until it and I were “ready.” The website itself has been ready for a few weeks now, but still, I stalled. I’m not in a good place right now, writing-wise. It has been hard for me to find joy or even satisfaction in it. I’m working on a project that I once loved, but now see as a gigantic daily chore. I’m struggling to balance writing with my teaching job, parenting, and taking care of myself. I’m failing at celebrating my writerly self. For fleeting moments, I’ve even thought about giving up, which is something that I, Leanne Sowul, don’t do. (A gift; a flaw.)

So I let this website sit, waiting for me. I told myself that I was “configuring fonts” and “adding widgets” and “brainstorming ideas for posts.” All of these were true, but they were just stop-gaps, the kinds of lame excuses I call my students out on when they haven’t practiced. I wasn’t ready, I told myself. I’d start when I was ready.

But this morning, I woke up- literally twenty minutes ago, as I write the first draft of this- and I was tired. Not just physically tired (though I was) or emotionally tired (though I was). I was tired of myself. I was tired of not writing.

I was tired of allowing myself to go untested.

I’m at a difficult time in my life, and I haven’t used it to test myself. To find out if I could write, even be a good writer, under those circumstances. To find out whether writing can bring me joy, whether there’s a wellspring underneath the struggling Leanne that I still can tap into.

This is my test.

I am posting this today. I am starting it today: the new Words From the Sowul. A blog about words, about reading them and writing them; a blog for people who love them as I do.

I had planned a “welcome post” that looked nothing like this one. It was going to be a telling of my story, how I became a reader (short version: birth) and a writer (short version: it started with a journal, and my grandmother’s death). That post doesn’t matter. You’ll hear my story in time, over the course of many posts. Only one thing does matter, and it’s this:

Welcome…

If you’re a reader, a writer; a published author, or someone who doesn’t like penning a shopping list.

If you feel joy about writing, or you want to figure out what the fuss is about.

If your dream is to live in a library of books, or if you’d rather keep everything you read on your smartphone.

If you’re currently winning at life, or struggling like me.

Welcome to Words From the Sowul.

(You can find “old posts” from the blog’s previous incarnation in the archives; there’s a email subscription box on the sidebar that’s patiently waiting your address.)

I’ll be seeing you soon.

Keep reading and writing,

Leanne