Today’s post is brought to you by Cristen Dimas, my longtime friend and children’s book writing partner. Cristen once had a purpose that fulfilled her, but when life circumstances changed, she found herself needing to explore new avenues. Read her inspiring story below!
When my family relocated as a result of a transfer in my husband’s career, I resigned from the job I loved as an elementary music teacher. My children were near preschool age and childcare was difficult to find in our new town, as were teaching jobs. So we made the decision that I would stay home with our children until they reached kindergarten. We planned well financially and I was prepared and excited to be a stay-at-home mom.
What I didn’t anticipate was my newfound inability to answer this single question, one that often arises when you move and meet a lot of new people: “What do you do?”
It felt so strange not to say “I’m a music teacher.” Simply answering “I stay at home with the kids,” didn’t feel right. It wasn’t that I felt like that wasn’t enough. Yes, that is what I “do” now, and it’s an important and fulfilling purpose. But I felt like it wasn’t really a full representation of me. And I knew that for at least the next few years, at least, I wouldn’t be able to say I was an elementary music teacher. I felt lost.
Another thing I didn’t anticipate was that while I was a full-time mom and nothing else (because really, all moms are “full-time,” whether they work outside the home or not!), I did have the freedom to explore some of my other interests. I’m lucky to have a husband who supported and encouraged me as I began to think about the interests I might like to pursue in those upcoming years. So I dove in.
What followed was two years of exploring other creative outlets and projects. Most notably, I formed a writing partnership and have co-written three children’s books (with this incredible writer Leanne Sowul). There are more books on the way, as we begin seeking publishers for our series. I also obtained my certification as a Spinning (indoor cycling) instructor, but was never hired despite being promised a position at my current exercise facility.
Now? I’m treasuring the time I’m able to spend with my children as a stay-at-home mother, but I am still exploring and seeking. Some of the things I’ve explored have really stuck. I’m continuing to write and seek publishers. I’m still hoping to be a Spinning instructor, and I have changed gyms for a fresh start.
I’m also considering some new ventures. I may start to teach piano lessons again, so I can earn a little money and stretch my music educator legs again. I’m beginning to volunteer with our church’s Sunday school program this fall. And I’m starting a training program to run my first half-marathon. But I’m still planning on going back to teach elementary music when my children are in kindergarten or first grade, and I don’t imagine any of these other things replacing that as my true passion.
And so, two years later, I find myself feeling even more lost and unable to answer that same simple question. My metaphoric hat stand is full of so many different hats, I can’t possibly wear them all. And I worry that because there are so many, I’m not wearing any of them very well. There are some old ones up there, like the “kids running coach” hat and the “flute and piccolo player” hat, that I used to wear a lot but don’t really tug at me in the same way anymore. Perhaps at the core of all this seeking for a new purpose is the mere fact that I had a purpose once that fit me perfectly, but it doesn’t fit at this particular stage in my life. In other words, my favorite “elementary music teacher” hat is merely collecting dust up there for awhile. I miss wearing it very much.