I tried hard to stay on routine, and keep my kids on theirs, for the first few days of the week. But on Friday and Saturday, I lost my stamina and decided to have a couple of days that were more relaxed. We did a little less “Sowul School” with Edwin, and I spent more time playing with Eleanor, and we did a lot of FaceTime with the grandparents. I went for a (social-distance) walk with my Dad after it stopped raining yesterday. I baked chocolate chip scones, just because it felt like a day for baking.

A note on baking: it’s very bad for me. I bake, and then I eat more than my fair share. On the other hand, it makes me happy. I love to bake, and I get very excited about eating baked goods. So it’s bad for my body, but occasionally, it’s good for my soul. Once a week won’t kill me (especially with all the walking I’ve been doing just to get outside).

Another Broken Screen

On Thursday, our TV screen broke; on Friday, my Kindle screen broke. I dropped it and it just fizzled. I’ve had this Kindle since 2011, and I’ve always loved it. It’s an early version, so it doesn’t have a backlight. It has tons of storage and hardly ever needs to be charged. But I’ve had it nine years; this was bound to happen eventually. My husband got on eBay and found me the exact same model for $20, but I think I’ll just get a new one. At some point the tech will probably become incompatible.

I’m sad for the loss of my Kindle, but of course there are much bigger things to be grieving right now– and many things, in the balance, to be thankful for.

A Scare in the Night

Around 9:00 last night, my husband and I were watching Schitt’s Creek (we love this show; it’s going to get us through the quarantine) and we heard a loud beep from down the hall. The door to my son’s room flew open and he ran down the hall, screaming at the top of his lungs. The fire alarm was going off, and he was terrified. There was no fire– it was just a malfunction, luckily, but wow. It was basically Edwin’s worst nightmare. He’s always been afraid of that thing going off, especially at night.

All was fine, but Edwin needed time to settle down, and eventually I offered to have him sleep with me, which was fun for both of us (although I didn’t sleep that well, to be honest).

I just started reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk, which is about handling trauma. This felt like a traumatic experience to Edwin, so I used the book’s suggestion of allowing him to re-tell it to break the cycle of re-living it. I had him verbalize for me, in sequence, what happened, starting from the moment before the alarm went off. It seemed to help him. After we went through the story once, he said, “I think I can get past it now.” I’m not sure if it was the technique or just the time together, but I’m glad it worked.

To sum up the week, I think I’ve done my best to keep my family feeling calm and stable. I didn’t write or create as much as I’d hoped, but maybe my expectations there were too high. We are all going through some form of group trauma here. The fire alarm started ringing for all of us last week, and in some sense, it hasn’t stopped.