Today’s post is for parents and caregivers: I’m spotlighting two fantastic parenting books that I read recently and am recommending widely.

(If you have a parenting/caregiving book that you love, please comment below or share with me on social– I’m all ears!)

Both of these books are enormously helpful with parenting during the young school-age years. My kids are 9 and (just about to turn) 5, so it felt like a good time for me to put away the baby/toddler books and open myself up to a new stage of parenting advice. (I have plenty of recommendations in the baby/toddler age range, too! Feel free to ask me for my top three if you’re in that stage.)

Book 1: The Family Firm by Emily Oster

If you haven’t been exposed to Emily Oster yet, and you’re a parent or caregiver– please, please, please sign up for her email newsletter THIS MINUTE. I first started reading her newsletter during the pandemic, and her thoughtful analysis of Covid-related data helped me frame my risk calculations around our family and Covid. Oster is a behavioral economist who studies and writes primarily in the parenting sphere– a much-needed niche.

Overview

THE FAMILY FIRM is about how to structure family life when your kids are school-age. Oster observed that while baby-related issues are often addressed in the moment (like the dreaded diaper explosion) school-age parenting usually requires more forethought. If your kid comes to you asking to join a travel soccer team, for example, that will take more planning and discussion than reaching for the diaper wipes. Oster provides the tools to make those decisions more thoughtfully.

My takeaways

Oster’s initial selling point, “treat the family like a business,” was a bit of a turn-off for me, but I found that the book wasn’t really trying to turn me into the CEO of Family Sowul. I found her four-step process for decision-making very helpful, and in particular loved the idea of a regular family meeting to discuss upcoming issues. My husband and I have had two such meetings since the start of the school year, and they’ve both been valuable. We’re able to get ahead of scheduling issues, deal with the wants and needs of our kids (one wants to start gymnastics; the other needs to a practice routine for his instrument), and intentionally plan our time off. Most importantly, we have the opportunity to come to a consensus on our values and parenting approach so that our kids see a (mostly) united front.

Book 2: Raising Happiness by Christine Carter

Overview

I picked up RAISING HAPPINESS during a summer book browse; I hadn’t known anything about the author before reading. I found it to be a perfect compliment to THE FAMILY FIRM, in that it makes the case for setting clear intentions for parenting and is also backed by research/data. However, rather than having a schedule/life planning focus, RAISING HAPPINESS is focused on instilling values in children that make them into happy, growth-minded adults. The chapters are divided by values such as gratitude, kindness, mindfulness, and helpfulness. Each chapter opens with stories shared from Carter’s own parenting experience, continues with related studies and data, and concludes with practical tips for teaching each value.

My takeaways

This book gave me the sense that while I was on the right track with teaching my children, I could make tweaks to our habits and routines that would bring our values to the forefront. I decided that this school year, we will give each month a theme. For September, I chose Kindness. I started by searching online for children’s books about kindness (I easily found several helpful lists) and requested them from the library. After reading a few, we discussed what kindness means. One interesting question that came up was, “How is being kind different from being nice?” (Answer: we think they are different, but we’re not sure how!) Each night during our bedtime routine, I ask the kids, “Did you notice kindness today?” All of us give an answer. About halfway through the month, I also started asking, “How were YOU kind today?”

I had hoped to do some sort of “kindness project” as well, but in the end, I felt that keeping them focused on their own kindness quotient throughout the day was enough. Next month’s focus is Mindfulness, and I’m looking forward to doing some Mindful Bodies exercises with them.

One final note: neither of the projects I mention in my “takeaways” took a large amount of time. Just a little bit of planning, and then a few minutes each day (or half an hour every two weeks, in the case of the family meeting). I really feel they are both paying dividends far beyond the time spent.

Share your best parenting-related books (or articles) in the comments or on social! There’s so much helpful information out there for parents.