When my kids were babies, I noticed a pattern of growth spurts. First they’d grow physically. I’d notice this phase when they cried a bit more easily (growing pains), ate a lot more food, and eventually strained at the seams of their pajamas.
Next, they’d grow mentally. They’d make a cognitive leap, like figuring out how to roll over or speak in a complete sentence.
Finally, they’d grow emotionally. This stage was characterized by a lot of clinginess. This was also the stage when they slept the least and fussed the most. (Obviously, it was my least favorite.)
Eventually, there would be a period of stasis before the process started again.
I think I have a growth cycle, too. Mine goes:
- Discontentment
- Self-reflection
- Growth
- Contentment
And then it recycles back to #1. See the illustration:
In discontentment, something about my life is bothering me. It might be large or small. It will keep getting under my skin, begging me to address it.
I tend to spend too long in the self-reflection stage. I enjoy thinking things over until they’ve been thought to death. I spend a lot of time writing, taking walks, meditating, and making excuses to go to the library. Eventually, I find some clarity.
In growth, I apply the lessons I’ve learned in self-reflection. I feel empowered by my ability to adapt, change, and create something new in my life. I love growth!
During contentment, I feel smug about myself and the life I’ve cultivated. Then something starts nagging at me again, and I find myself back at discontentment.
This is my growth cycle. Do you think you have one? Does it look like mine, or are your stages different?
My cycle goes much the same.
Oh, my gosh, Leanne! I do, and it’s very much like yours. I’m currently in discontentment and self-reflection. I feel uncomfortable and know some changes need to be made (not my favorite) and I’m figuring out how to make them.
My process is similar to yours, but with one key difference. For me, being discontent or desiring to make a change is enough for me to enter the self-reflection stage, where I think about what changes I would want to make and why, but not always enough for me to enter the growth phase where I implement those changes. Often I require some kind of “Triggering Event,” which in my diagram would be placed in between “Self Reflection” and “Growth.” This typically takes the form of a breakup, missed opportunity at work, or something else that makes me feel sad or as if I’ve lost some control over my life. When that occurs, I will return to something I have wanted to change in the past and finally implement the changes I’ve already thought about previously. While I don’t always require some kind of trigger to implement changes, I have found that I’ve made the most significant changes in response to those type of incidents.