This summer, while I was dieting and exercising my post-baby bod (as I wrote about in my post New Floors and Sticks of Butter), I was also exercising my discipline muscle. I used it every time I thought about the Almond Joy sundae at our local ice cream place. I used it when I felt more like reading a book than taking a walk. I worked it hard on my husband’s birthday when my parents got him our all-time favorite chocolate fudge cake, and I had to deny myself a piece. (I did it.)
I succeeded in meeting my 5-week goals of increased exercising and eliminating desserts. I lost 6 pounds (1.5 of them over this past week, when I started a similar 2-week program before our beach vacation). I’m very proud of this success, but I noticed that while I was working my discipline muscle to lose weight, I had trouble using it for other things. For example, I didn’t meet all my writing goals this summer, and I also had trouble refraining from spending money on clothes. (But it’s summer! Summer clothes are the best! And we did a lot of outlet shopping, so at least they were cheap.)
I’ve read articles and watched talk shows where experts claim that we can increase our capacity for discipline if we just work at it. (Isn’t that kind of a Catch-22? You need discipline to get more discipline?) But I disagree. I think most of us have a limit for the amount of discipline we can exert. If we were all endlessly capable, wouldn’t more of us be training for marathons while working 80 hours a week on Wall Street and performing the lead in a musical nightly? I do think that it’s important to keep working that discipline muscle by trying new things, striving for personal growth, and fighting off laziness, but trying to be disciplined in too many areas at once will only lead to disappointment.
Now that I’ve lost some weight, I’m going to turn my discipline muscle toward writing once more. Here are some goals I have going into September:
1. Draft 8 of my novel, which may be the last. When I really feel it is as good as can be, start querying agents. (Yikes!)
2. Enter the Real Simple Life Lessons essay contest. (I already have this one written, but it needs some editing.)
3. Increase blogging to 3-4 times per week, but make my posts shorter; also include more pictures. (I don’t know what kind of picture would work for this post, though- how do you visualize discipline?)
4. Keep working on and submitting short stories to Glimmer Train and other publications.
5. Make my website more visually appealing! (Suggestions?)
Do you agree? Can we be endlessly disciplined, or do we need to choose what activity to focus that muscle on?
I admire the discipline you have demonstrated toward your writing. I’m just beginning to prompt that muse within me to write. I think you do understand more about discipline than you give yourself credit.
I believer there is a finite amount of time and energy that we can devote to activities beyond survival. Those that tug at our heart like our children are cared for without much thought about discipline because our heart is 100% committed to the cause. But the less connection to our heart, the more we have to work toward achieving goals using discipline. Once we have the commitment in our heart it becomes part of us and we can look beyond all the rest that is clamoring for that finite amount of time and energy without the effort discipline requires.
Lynn, that is beautifully said. I agree that the more passionately we feel about something (or someone) the easier it is to commit to it. I struggle with being disciplined about certain aspects of my passions. For example, I love to work on novels, but I find short stories harder. I still need to work on the short stories, though, because they increase my portfolio and can be gateways to publication. Musically, I love rehearsing with a group, but find practicing on my own to be a chore. It’s these less-enjoyable aspects of something I am committed to as a whole that I need discipline for.
You seem to have jumped into writing your blog with both feet, which is its own kind of discipline. Congratulations there! The past two years have taught me that sometimes blog posts come easily, and sometimes I feel completely uninspired, but it’s worth weathering the dry periods for the fertile ones.
I know there was some research out in the lay press recently about “willpower fatigue” and also “decision fatigue” which I think is related. I know this is true in my life—if I am uber-disciplined about one thing, yes, the other things suffer. And if I use all my willpower in the morning to work out, eat a healthy breakfast, and not yell at the kids after being woken up at 5:30 AM, I have less left to get me to write drafts of boring publications or analyze data (hence, me commenting on blogs at 10AM Monday morning). So yes, I think you need to identify your priority for the moment and focus on that. The idea that we can be perfect at EVERYTHING in life at the same time is such a myth!